You are my All in All

Some people have mentioned to me that my blogs are very deep, deeper than your typical blogs. Well I do hope they are, because everything contained in it comes from the depths of my heart, and the deepest caverns of my thoughts. The other day at Communion, I had another moment of revelation.

These past two weeks have been rough for me; I have been riding the roller coaster of emotions, not necessarily due to any physical matter, but really just a insane kick of hormones or something. And all this time I was trying to cling to God, for the most part. But a lot of it I relied on friends for support. So while we were taking Communion on Sunday, God really spoke to me. Earlier in church we had sung the touching sacred hymn "All in All". Sometimes I sit in church and just sing, not necessarily feeling the words that I sing heartily. But when the words "You are my Strength when I am weak, You are the treasure that I seek, You are my All in All", it caught my minds eye. All in all...? I pondered on this later during Communion, where God laid upon my heart that I was not ready for a romantic relationship. I am a firm believer that before you can ever love another person, God must first be fully enough for you, and then the soulmate is just a benefit. When the phrase "All in All" was spoken, I kind of got a hit to the face when I realized, I was not letting God be my all. When He is enough for me, when I can survive with no one else but Him, then I will be ready.

This is not just a blog about my relationships, don't worry--because that could take more than just one blog. =) But it is about seeking my true Love. As the hymn continues on, it says, "Seeking you as a precious jewel, Lord to give up, I'd be a fool--You are my All in All". As I got to thinking about it, I was reflecting on what "treasure" really is. Anyone who knows me can understand me when I say that my definition of a "treasure" might be some cute new outfit I found at the Monday Sale for an incredibly good deal. As much as that made me laugh at myself, I also saw the serious side of it--how often do I seek after God as much as I do a good deal on clothes? When there's a good sale on, everyone wants to go, because they would be a fool to miss such great savings. And then I really felt the truth...I would be a fool to give up on such a great treasure--a precious jewel.

My favorite verse ever is 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, I am strong." His grace is ENOUGH for me. My ALL.

I was really in the grateful yet sorrowful mood that only the joy of Christ can bring you through, and so I decided to write a song to release my flow of relentless emotion. It is a simple love song, to my true Love. I hope it reaches you as it does me. I am working on putting the music I have written for it on paper, and hopefully soon I will have it perfected.

YOU

Grass under my feet

Running through the field

Living the sunshine away

You laugh the joy into my day

*It's You, You, it's You..

Ancient friends, laughing and talking

Of worries and prayers

Who walks in this garden?

*It's You, You, it's me and You..

When the world is on my shoulders

And the sweat is on my brow

Will You be the One to carry my burden

And walk me through?

*Yeah, because it's You, You, it's You...

When the smoke clears

And the only one left is me

Who's the One holding out the white flag

Telling me they're all that I need?

*It's You, You, it's You...

Captivate, illuminate, elucidate

Anything that drives me to You!!

I want it to be You, You, me and You...

~Audrey Lynn Hanson~3/2/09

In The Beginning...

Hi. I'm Audrey Hanson. Most people who have blogs talk maybe about their great adventures, or just their life, or maybe they put up pictures that they've taken. But this is going to basically be the heart of Audrey, laid out on the table. Things that I think about, learned, or maybe just want to know. The first thing that came to mind that was just on my heart was this: how strange we people are. I mean, I sometimes laugh to think that God sits up in heaven just shaking His head and laughing at us. We are just so stupid sometimes! Example number 1: "Snakes On A Plane". Okay, that's not really a good example but I just wanted to put out there..what a lame plot/title for a movie! So what got me thinking about this was, in my relationship with God, sometimes when things go wrong, I pull the "abandon ship" move. When ever the going gets tough, I just jump off board. And when I'm drowning in the waters, and I KNOW how to get back on board, I don't. Maybe some explanation is called for here. For me, personally, I love having this great connection with God. He's my Best Friend, and my Beloved, and so many more things!! But as soon as my spirit is broken by the weary ways of the world, I forget how amazing this connection with Him is, and I fall away, just by not doing the simple things. By reading His love story to us, and just talking to Him like He's your closest friend, that instills a sweet peace inside of me. For a couple of weeks this connection has been broken for me, only because I am being the stereotypical human. Why is it when we know what to do and that we should do those simple things and restore our relationships, it's just so hard? I don't know. But there is a transcending peace that I have to look forward to, and it's just out of my reach, and I mean to grab onto that.



"The purposes of God point to one simple end—that we should be as he is, think the same thoughts, mean the same things, possess the same blessedness." –George MacDonald

LET A MAN THINK AND CARE ever so little about God, he does not therefore exist without God. God is here with him, upholding, warming, delighting, teaching him—making life a good thing to him. God gives him himself, though the man knows it not.--George MacDonald