Some people have mentioned to me that my blogs are very deep, deeper than your typical blogs. Well I do hope they are, because everything contained in it comes from the depths of my heart, and the deepest caverns of my thoughts. The other day at Communion, I had another moment of revelation.
These past two weeks have been rough for me; I have been riding the roller coaster of emotions, not necessarily due to any physical matter, but really just a insane kick of hormones or something. And all this time I was trying to cling to God, for the most part. But a lot of it I relied on friends for support. So while we were taking Communion on Sunday, God really spoke to me. Earlier in church we had sung the touching sacred hymn "All in All". Sometimes I sit in church and just sing, not necessarily feeling the words that I sing heartily. But when the words "You are my Strength when I am weak, You are the treasure that I seek, You are my All in All", it caught my minds eye. All in all...? I pondered on this later during Communion, where God laid upon my heart that I was not ready for a romantic relationship. I am a firm believer that before you can ever love another person, God must first be fully enough for you, and then the soulmate is just a benefit. When the phrase "All in All" was spoken, I kind of got a hit to the face when I realized, I was not letting God be my all. When He is enough for me, when I can survive with no one else but Him, then I will be ready.
This is not just a blog about my relationships, don't worry--because that could take more than just one blog. =) But it is about seeking my true Love. As the hymn continues on, it says, "Seeking you as a precious jewel, Lord to give up, I'd be a fool--You are my All in All". As I got to thinking about it, I was reflecting on what "treasure" really is. Anyone who knows me can understand me when I say that my definition of a "treasure" might be some cute new outfit I found at the Monday Sale for an incredibly good deal. As much as that made me laugh at myself, I also saw the serious side of it--how often do I seek after God as much as I do a good deal on clothes? When there's a good sale on, everyone wants to go, because they would be a fool to miss such great savings. And then I really felt the truth...I would be a fool to give up on such a great treasure--a precious jewel.
My favorite verse ever is 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, I am strong." His grace is ENOUGH for me. My ALL.
I was really in the grateful yet sorrowful mood that only the joy of Christ can bring you through, and so I decided to write a song to release my flow of relentless emotion. It is a simple love song, to my true Love. I hope it reaches you as it does me. I am working on putting the music I have written for it on paper, and hopefully soon I will have it perfected.
These past two weeks have been rough for me; I have been riding the roller coaster of emotions, not necessarily due to any physical matter, but really just a insane kick of hormones or something. And all this time I was trying to cling to God, for the most part. But a lot of it I relied on friends for support. So while we were taking Communion on Sunday, God really spoke to me. Earlier in church we had sung the touching sacred hymn "All in All". Sometimes I sit in church and just sing, not necessarily feeling the words that I sing heartily. But when the words "You are my Strength when I am weak, You are the treasure that I seek, You are my All in All", it caught my minds eye. All in all...? I pondered on this later during Communion, where God laid upon my heart that I was not ready for a romantic relationship. I am a firm believer that before you can ever love another person, God must first be fully enough for you, and then the soulmate is just a benefit. When the phrase "All in All" was spoken, I kind of got a hit to the face when I realized, I was not letting God be my all. When He is enough for me, when I can survive with no one else but Him, then I will be ready.
This is not just a blog about my relationships, don't worry--because that could take more than just one blog. =) But it is about seeking my true Love. As the hymn continues on, it says, "Seeking you as a precious jewel, Lord to give up, I'd be a fool--You are my All in All". As I got to thinking about it, I was reflecting on what "treasure" really is. Anyone who knows me can understand me when I say that my definition of a "treasure" might be some cute new outfit I found at the Monday Sale for an incredibly good deal. As much as that made me laugh at myself, I also saw the serious side of it--how often do I seek after God as much as I do a good deal on clothes? When there's a good sale on, everyone wants to go, because they would be a fool to miss such great savings. And then I really felt the truth...I would be a fool to give up on such a great treasure--a precious jewel.
My favorite verse ever is 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, I am strong." His grace is ENOUGH for me. My ALL.
I was really in the grateful yet sorrowful mood that only the joy of Christ can bring you through, and so I decided to write a song to release my flow of relentless emotion. It is a simple love song, to my true Love. I hope it reaches you as it does me. I am working on putting the music I have written for it on paper, and hopefully soon I will have it perfected.
YOU
Grass under my feet
Running through the field
Living the sunshine away
You laugh the joy into my day
*It's You, You, it's You..
Ancient friends, laughing and talking
Of worries and prayers
Who walks in this garden?
*It's You, You, it's me and You..
When the world is on my shoulders
And the sweat is on my brow
Will You be the One to carry my burden
And walk me through?
*Yeah, because it's You, You, it's You...
When the smoke clears
And the only one left is me
Who's the One holding out the white flag
Telling me they're all that I need?
*It's You, You, it's You...
Captivate, illuminate, elucidate
Anything that drives me to You!!
I want it to be You, You, me and You...
~Audrey Lynn Hanson~3/2/09
this is great Audrey! :D i definitely know what you mean though. even if a relationship presents itself, i am far from where i should be with God to consider it. there are things in me that only God can heal.
ReplyDeletegreat poem, soon to be song :) i absoulutely love that verse. :)